I have been redecorating these last couple of weeks. In a big way.
I decided to replace my dining room and living room furniture and décor. A huge deal, and not an insignificant expense.
But it is time. We have lived in this house for almost 19 years, and some of this stuff, we have owned for even longer.
Besides, although I have been content, I have long come to accept the fact that our décor has been the result of compromise between two people. Which is good. But not exactly how I would have done things if I were left to my own devices.
Add to that the wear and tear that rearing small children entails, and the decision was clear. It is time to swap out the tables and the chairs. And the rugs. And even the artwork. 19 years is a long time.
But also? In a season of change, we need a win. I need a win.
I need to drive a change and see immediate results. Most of all, I need a change that has an end result that makes me happy. And my children, too, if I can help it.
While there is a lot of excitement in dealing with empty rooms and the idea that I don’t need to compromise with a second person, there is sadness that comes with this decision, too.
The dining table alone holds so many memories of many shared meals with people who are no longer with us.
That said, I couldn’t let myself “go there”, and I quickly assumed a rather detached attitude towards the things we were discarding.
So it was with razor-sharp determination that I made my choices on new furnishings and artwork. And I methodically planned the “clear out” phase to make room for the new things.
I was on a schedule. I ordered all the things and scheduled them for delivery. I remembered to ensure that the rugs would come ahead of the furniture, and the rug pads along with them.
I called in favors with friends who could help me haul my stuff out. I got my kids’ buy-in on my décor choices. (I cannot stress how important this is.)
And I cleaned and mopped and shampooed the carpet.
And when the time came, I laid down rugs and let them settle in place while we waited for the furniture to be delivered.
It has been a few days now, and most of the new things are in, with just a few minor things still waiting to be installed.
As you can imagine, I have been sending photos to friends as the redecorating has progressed, but I soon realized that I did not do one thing: I did not take “before” photos.
This was a subconscious decision that I have not really explored until now.
Just why didn’t I take “before” photos?
Mostly, I think, I needed to maintain my detachment to things that actually have a lot of sentimental value.
Also, because this project is not an exercise in “home improvement.” I am being mindful of honoring the choices I once made with my partner, and I do not mean to suggest that the new setup is necessarily better. (Even if maybe it is.)
Lastly, as my children have understandably been a bit trepidatious at their mother’s quick decision-making and the resulting changes in our home, I am having to reiterate, several times:
“It is time.”
“These are just things. They do not hold memories. We hold memories.”
All the same, I have been respectful of their feelings and not treating this project as anything more special than a routine change-up.
In this process, I am endeavoring to demonstrate to myself and to my children that change is not always bad.
That goodbyes lead to hellos. And while goodbyes can sometimes make us feel sad, we can tread through them gently as we walk towards the new hellos.
I also want to show them that we can choose to make changes that make us happy.
(Praise God, they are both very happy with my efforts!)
So no, I have no “before” photos to show the changes in our home.
It is enough to know that we are making conscious choices to move forward, even as we hold on to beloved memories. And that we have it in us to make new, happy spaces.
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